Silence CAN be Golden

Speaking the truth in love today I'd like to get up close and personal and ask a very uncomfortable question. When do we as pastors need to be silent or "Are you doing too much talking and not listening to what your people are saying or needing to say?"

I'm not talking about those folks who need to complain to us or about us. I'm not talking about being silent when a theological error needs to be corrected or accountability needs to be discussed. I'm talking about letting your folks dream, discuss, and even determine what it is that best suits their energy level or what they see as an energy drainer.

I did a workshop recently on Church Health and it was attended by clergy and lay from a variety of churches. NOTE to self: This may not be a good combination! As I put them into their church groups to discuss the energy drainers in their congregation, I heard more than one pastor poo-poo (that's a good theological word, isn't it) what their folks were saying. I heard things like "well, in comparison to other churches, that isn't a big problem here" or "I don't think that really drains our energy because...".

I didn't remain silent and asked that the pastors listen without comparison or comment. It seemed to be hard for pastoral leaders to sit back and listen without feeling the need to fix it, take it on, or challenge what we are hearing. And it is ok to ask our folks to talk without any expectations that we will have a solution or will take on their project. This can free us from the perception that we have to act on every idea or concern that is put in front of us.

When do you step in and try to correct or influence 'feelings', ideas, dreams, concerns and miss what your folks are trying to tell you about the state of their energy, mind, heart or soul?